They hate me

I have been so angry lately. It comes all of a sudden and i just explode. then ten or twenty minutes later im fine. I hate it. Whenever I get a burst of fury, I try to avoid people. Its hard when I live with my roommate and boyfriend. And right now my sister is staying with me for 6 days and I can only take about 2 or 3 days with her. Shes 6 years older than I am so she always has acted like she has control over me. I hate it. Especially now. I have been recently getting so angry and aggressive when another person tries to control me. I go insane. Its only been for about 2 weeks. Then when I explode on someone I piss them off and they just get mad right back which just makes it so much worse. Then they will just leave and be mad at me and not want to be around me. The only people I have in my life that never leave my side when i get angry is my mother and my boyfriend. No matter what, they are always there to help me. They dont take it personal, but maybe sometimes they have to step away if im really out of control. I dont blame them. I understand my mom sticking by my side, but my boyfriend doesnt have to. I dont understand how he could love me so much and still treat me so wonderful when I randomly blow up. But I appreciate everything him and my mother do. When Im feeling up and in a stable mood, I try my best to go way out of my way to make them happy and feel special and appreciated. Its like there are two of me and one is responsible, happy, loving, curteous, and level headed, and the other one is a crazy girl who wants to destroy everything around her, break everything, yell and argue with everyone around me, and just scream and punch myself. Then When the insane me leaves, I feel like a complete idiot for acting so ridiculous.
Im just so thankful I have my support system-mom/boyfriend. It would be nice if my sister was as understanding of me and acceoting of my drastic mood changes. She is manic bipolar and I will suck up anything to make her feel comfortable and normal. I jsut wish she would do the same for me. Earlier tonight she was trying to tell me what to do and how to act in my own apartment. She has spent the past 3 nights here and has been using my utilities and eating my food. I do not have a single dollar to my name once it hits the first of the month. I cant hold down a job, so im living off of student loans and money my dad send me to pay for rent and partial utilities. He send me money each month because he feels so guilty he cant be here to help me in person. He lives 2400 miles away and it killed him that he wasnt out here when I was r*ped. So its pity money but it allows me to live away from my sister. that works for me. plus I dont need a car or gas since I can wlak to school and dont have a job. My boyfriend has a car so if I really do need to go somewhere I can drive that.
But I jsut wish I could hold down a job so I could feel a little more productive. Ive tried so many times, I fail each time though.
I really want these insane mood changes to go away. I cant handle it and its ruining my life and driving everyone away from me.
I just wish I knew what to do to fix me.