A little bit about me..

This is why I'm here..
My name is Christina and I am 18 years old. I am currently a sophomore in college, and my assault happened one year and 3 weeks ago( Sept 23, 2007). I was sexually attacked by someone I did not know at an out of state event. It has only been a couple months that I have even been able to face the fact that something traumatic happened to me and that it was not my fault. I cant speak about it aloud, and I cannot even say the four letter R word. If someone would have asked me more than a year ago what I thought about victims of sexual assault, I unfortunately would have thought of course its an awful situation to be in, but never in a million years would I have ever fathomed it would have such a tolling affect on my mind, body, and life. I believe most people who have never experienced the R word cannot understand the lasting symptoms such as PTSD(post traumatic stress disorder), anxiety, depression, and many more. Not only do I have those three, but Ialso have interstitial cystitis.. which my pelvic physician informed me that 80% of women who have it have been sexually assaulted in their past. What a coincidence.
After my assault, the first semester back at school was horrible. I ruined my GPA, I had to drop a couple classes, and thsoe which I did not drop, I should have. I never showed up to class, I was always scared of being around people, and I would always forget everything. It was as if I had shortterm memory loss. Everything was a blurr, and I didnt have any idea of what I did the morning on my way to school or at school, or anything. My dr and Therapist told me my mind was still in survival mode. It was difficult ot believe it then, I had no idea the mind and body were capable of such things. Its incredible how your mind works to help you heal. But now a new semester has begun and although it is still difficult for me to remember things, and to get enough mental strength to walk to campus, I do it. because I know I have to and that its good for me. I recently quit my job because any little thing stresses me out beyond any healthy limit. I had the job during the summer which was my max.. but now I am going to school, and volunteering for an organization at my school that helps to inform students about date R, sexual assault, stalking, and harrassment. The two women in charge know my situation and accommadate me so well. Being involved with this group helps make my situation a part of my life where as before I just pushed it out of sight and out of mind the best I possibly could, but now I actually get the chance to help other feel comfortable and aware of what happens and what the victims go through during and after the fact.